Feeling Inadequate?

November 15, 2011

12:52 pm

Hello! Just sitting here in my dorm room, not very tired, so decided to do some Bible searching and journaling.

During our floor Bible study today, as I was flipping through my Bible, I came upon a section entitled, “How Can I Be Sure That I am Saved?”  This sparked my attention.  For the last, umm, long time, I’ve had this constant struggle of feeling inadequacy and unworthiness.  I don’t read my Bible nearly as much as I ought to.  I do well to try and remember to pray once a day, which seems awful.  I am so imperfect and struggle with my imperfections each and every day.

When reading through the section by Lenny Esposito, I discovered that more than anything, I need to just completely accept this and hand it over to God.  For the last long time, I’ve just been thinking “Okay God, I’m getting tired of this. Get rid of it.”  But I’m beginning to realize, that’s not what I should be saying at all.  God has given us all imperfections.  We all have them!  Accept them, and learn to grow through them.  God can use our impurities to touch the lives of others.  Which is why I am deciding to post this journal entry to my blog that hasn’t really been used yet.  I’m going to share my testimonies and hope that others may learn from them. 

One verse I would like to point out from this passage was 2 Corinthians 3:18, which says “We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

How awesome.  With unveiled faces (that reveal all of our imperfections), we are looking into a mirror that reflects the one and only God.  We are reflections of God! How crazy!

Ok, there’s my crazy preaching for the night.  I’m beginning to get tired, so I’m headed to bed.  Goodnight all!

September 5, 2011 - First Ever Blog.

So, this is my first ever blog.  Don't criticize me too harshly. I'm basically just going to vent my feelings and thoughts.  I good stress reliever.  Anyway, I guess I should write about my college experience so far.

On Thursday, the 25th, as soon as my mom got out of school, we went home to meet up with my dad and my sister, loaded my car, and departed for Greenville, shedding many tears, of course.  I'll never forget that feeling of leaving home to go to somewhere on my own.  It was so overwhelming.  I just couldn't seem to stop the tears.  On the way out of town, I stopped at the local hair salon to get a new hair feather (the current trend) replaced, while my dad and sister went and picked up some late lunch.  After the short stop, we were on our way, with five hours of driving ahead of us.  The whole trip, my sister was using the app HeyTell on my dad's iPhone, and we were, in a sense, "walkie-talkie-ing."  We played the game 20 questions a lot. When arriving at Nana and Pawpaw's house, we went inside for some much awaited Mario's pizza and salad. One of the main reasons why I so look forward to coming to Greenville.

Then, on the 26th, it was the big day.  The day I'd been nervous about for like a century.  On the way to the college, my stomach was seriously in knots.  I felt like I was going to puke the whole ride there.  I think partially the fear of rejection or the fear of not fitting in. I always seem to have those kinds of thoughts running through my head.  But as soon as I got here, I immediately felt like I was included, and all of those fears went down the tubes.

So, to sum up this blog, I seemed to fear going to college, but now that I'm here, I absolutely love it..(: